Let me start off by saying that this post is not to say that breastmilk is better than formula or push one way or another. I firmly believe that FED IS BEST. This is just to share my journey with breastfeeding and what worked for me.
I knew before I was even pregnant I wanted to try and breastfeed, but I also told myself if I wasn’t able to then I wouldn’t allow it to stress me out (which I’m sure is easier said than done). I had dreamt of the bonding that you hear about while nursing (again, I’m not saying you don’t have the same feeling with bottle fed but I don’t have the experience to speak on it).
After my c-section was finished and they laid him on my chest, he was crying and crying as they wheeled us to the recovery room. Once we were there, they said it was time to try and nurse. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Would it hurt? Would anything come out, yet? Would he be able to latch? I had no idea what that really meant, I just knew of people talking about babies not latching properly. But after a few minutes, Boston was latched and I was in awe of it all. He had finally stopped crying and it was such an amazing moment. From then on, we’ve had a pretty good experience together. I love being able to talk and cuddle him while nursing, especially at night. We sit in the rocking chair in his room and I talk about our day. We talk about what we did, how it went, and what our plans are for the next day. It is such a special 10 minutes before bed.
Some days were harder than others. Like the days he wanted to nurse continuously…yeesh. That was exhausting! Or having a clogged duct, that is no joke. It felt like a sharp pain near my breast and I didn’t know exactly what it was at first. I thought maybe I pulled something? But after googling (of course) I seemed to have the exact symptoms of a clogged duct. So I used a warm compress and I nursed him on that side first, for longer periods of time and that helped to relieve it after a few days.
Something else that I learned for the future is, I would make more of a freezer stash earlier on. Because I really don’t enjoy pumping, I was lazy as far as pumping just to make bottles that we would need when I go back to work. I had some but I definitely should’ve made more. We’re ten months in on this journey together and because he’s eating more regular food and not solely relying on milk, my supply has gone down. It’s been a hard adjustment to pump enough for his bottles. If it’s a work day, I nurse him in the morning, pump 3 times at work, nurse him twice after work, and then I pump before I go to bed. Sometimes I set an alarm for 2am to pump just to produce even more which has really helped. Next time I will also probably look into one of the pumps that I can put in my bra and use while moving around.
The last thing that I’m learning is to always smile. I have noticed while nursing in public you get a lot of different looks. Some are sweet and caring and others are not. I usually have a cover on in public but I only wear one to make everyone around me comfortable which is not how it should be. Boston gets so hot and uncomfortable under the cover so I’m slowly but surely getting more confident and paying attention to people’s reactions less. My baby is eating and he needs to eat so I need to use a “get used to it or get away” attitude! I think that comes with being a mother and standing up for what’s best for your child, no matter what.
But really, I’m not sure if it is because I can only remember the good parts and how much I love nursing but I am so grateful that I have been able to produce enough to continue this far and without any major issues. Our goal is to make it to a year but we will see what happens. At this point, I’m going to let him tell me if it’s working or not. I’m just going to keep enjoying it while I still can 🙂
So happy for Boston and your journey through this!
Best mama ever ❤️