My First Mother’s Day

Going into my first Mother’s Day, I can’t help but to reflect on the past year.

In January 2019, we found out we were expecting and it’s been a whirlwind ever since. The pregnancy was fairly easy but the part that wasn’t so easy was we became pregnant in what became the toughest year financially for us. We had been trying for years prior to get pregnant. Anthony and I had agreed towards the end of 2018 that if we weren’t pregnant by Mother’s Day 2019 then we would look into meeting with a fertility doctor. 2019 came & we were thrilled to find out we were expecting. And then the real worries and fears set in.

Knowing you have a child on the way but not feeling confident that you will be able to care for that child was incredibly nerve-wracking and it caused a lot of stress on our marriage as well. I was crying every day and Anthony was quiet and doing everything he could to try to improve our situation. He switched jobs but nothing seemed to be falling into place. We were trying to soak up our last few months with just the 2 of us but it was so hard & scary knowing you don’t know how you’re going to pay next month’s bills let alone buy anything for your new baby. I was trying to stay strong in my faith that God wouldn’t leave us during this time and put my trust in Him but it still left us asking so many questions. Why now? Why would this happen when we feel like we can’t even take care of ourselves? We were fine years past. We were never rich by any means but we could’ve provided.

Then we met Boston.

Boston came and answered every question for us. If it weren’t for him, I’m not sure how we would have made it through that year. Don’t get me wrong, Anthony and I have loved each other so hard throughout this whole process but being financially unstable along with other things piling up, it added this dark, heavy environment to our home. I mean the day after we brought Boston home from the hospital, we went to pick up Anthony’s car from the mechanic and on the way home, MY car broke down. It continued to be one thing after another and it really was the hardest year we’ve had but it also gave us our greatest blessing.

We now know, that God “made us wait” for a child because he wanted to give us Boston during that year. He knew that Boston would not only give us SO MUCH happiness but he gave us hope. He was our light in the darkness. We knew there were better days ahead & as long as we had each other, we were fine.

During this scary time while the world battles the Coronavirus, I am home with our baby, soaking up all of this extra time. Is it ideal to not be working right now? No. Am I going to spend every second worrying about it? Also, no. I stayed home with him for 3 months after he was born & now I am getting even more extra time with him. Just in the short amount of time, Boston has learned to sit up alone and two teeth have popped through! Meanwhile, Anthony recently started a new job and is really liking it!

Everyday, I thank God for making me Boston’s Mamá and trusting me with such an important little guy.

P.S. Would you be interested in a pregnancy/birth post? Thinking about sharing more of that experience.