So a few weeks ago, I had a dream that I shared one of my biggest insecurities here. I shared pictures and my feelings towards it. At first, I was unsure if I should talk about it because, was I really ready? Then I realized that I will never be “ready” but I started this blog to be real and to not filter my life or feelings so here we are…
It has been over a year and a half since I gave birth and I am still learning to appreciate the new look of my body but mostly my stomach. Every day, I tuck my stomach into either leggings (hopefully) or jeans. While I was pregnant, I knew that it would never be the same but I didn’t really prepare myself for what came after. Let me say, I LOVE my body for what it gave to me which is 29 wonderful years and a beautiful 9 lb. 12 oz. baby boy. I expected that I would probably never be the size I was before I got pregnant and I am just fine with that but I didn’t prepare myself for what my stomach would actually look like. The way it hangs…it hangs over my c-section scar, like a flap almost. It took me until Boston was 7 months old before I even lifted up my skin to see the scar. You’re supposed to keep an eye on the healing process but I was too afraid to touch my own skin that I would have Anthony do it. The thought of having to basically lift up a flap was scary. Why? Why couldn’t I bear to look at it?
As a woman, pregnant or not, we are constantly bombarded with pictures of a certain type of body. You know the one with the small waist, thigh gap, dimple free skin, and usually edited super smooth skin. While there is nothing wrong with their bodies, there is also nothing wrong with anyone’s body who doesn’t look like that, which is most of us. I have stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkles, acne, you name it but it doesn’t make me less pretty because of those things.
Why don’t we share and celebrate women’s bodies who might be a bigger size, have extra skin or thighs that touch when we walk? When you’re pregnant you read of women who “snapped right back after pregnancy” or you hear that breastfeeding will make the weight “just fall right off”. Again, that is great if that’s how it worked for you but it’s also great if it didn’t. Our main focus after pregnancy shouldn’t be to worry about the new shape our body took. It should be to keep a new, perfect, small, crying human alive while also keeping our sanity! Motherhood can feel extremely lonely and when you look at social media and all you see are women who look exactly like their pre-pregnancy self, it can make it even harder. When really, most of us, are struggling with the same insecurities. We are struggling with comparing our postpartum bodies to everyone else’s.
We all think that because we aren’t seeing the bodies that look like theirs, that everyone’s must look different when really we are more alike than we think. Below you will see a picture of 18 BEAUTIFUL postpartum bellies. These women were so brave to share these especially because most of them felt alone in thinking that their bodies were the only ones who didn’t look like it did before giving birth. Instead of worrying about how your body compares to others, remember that your body has overcome so much to carry you to where you are. Some have experienced twins, some have experienced loss, some have spent hours in labor, some have had major surgery…but we all did it. Our stomachs did it. OUR BODIES DID IT.
I’m hoping that opening up and sharing something that has been extremely hard for me will allow this to be a space for us all to be ourselves. If you feel alone in this struggle, know that you’re not. I am in it with you and you can always reach out.
Thank you so much to all the inspiring women who sent me their picture, it means a lot for you to share something so vulnerable. Also, I have to say a huge thank you to my friend, Kate, for all of her help with this post and the pictures.
